Not the UFO kind.

I mean Celebrity Sightings.

My friend Jen (see previous post) LOVED hearing about sightings! She figured since I live in LA, I must be seeing people all the time. Not so much, really. But yes, occasionally, I do have sightings. Some better than others.

So in Jen’s honor, I’ll list a few…

Last night I saw former California Governor Gray Davis in the San Jose airport. Not bad. Last Friday I saw Billy Dee Williams at the Equinox Spa in Century City. (It was Spa Week.) Double Bonus.

My children’s pediatrician’s office is in Beverly Hills. (Yes, THE Beverly Hills.) So I do have quite a few sightings when we have check-ups.

Once when my son Charlie was a baby, Anne Bancroft made googly eyes, coo’ed, and generally behaved in a very grandmotherly way toward him as we passed each other in a hallway. She told my son he “was such a handsome young man, yes he was!” in a cute, baby-talk voice. It was quite adorable.

That same visit to the doctor’s office also netted a sighting of Calista Flockhart walking her dog and Peter Falk, talking on a pay phone. (YES, a PAY phone.)

One trip to the doctor for my son, Oscar, netted a short conversation with Larry King as we all waited for the elevator together. (Big Head.) Another time I saw Richard Schiff in the same hallway, but he was traveling Incognito, and so we didn’t speak, as is customary, of course.

On a recent visit to Oscar’s asthma specialist we almost nearly ran into Nicollette Sheridan, who was in quite a rush and seemed late for something, although quite pleasant.

Jen would have liked hearing about Nicollette.

An original post by Sarah Auerswald.

When someone we know dies, especially someone who’s too young, someone for whom there was so much more time implicitly PROMISED, it’s especially hard to reconcile in OUR minds, the survivors, the ones left to remember and carry on somehow.

In order to help keep us going, we need help. Crutches, like for helping to walk with a broken leg. Coping mechanisms, strategies, homilies, words of wisdom to help ease the pain and lead us to the understanding and peace we crave.

There are so many, spoken by so many wise women and men who have lived through loss. I love what Oprah says: “When you lose a loved one, you gain an angel whose name you know.”

And here’s one I absolutely love and that has deeply spoken to my soul, by Henry Van Dyke, called A Parable of Immortality:

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs
like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says,
” There she goes! ”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight . . . that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment
when someone at my side says,
” There she goes! ”
there are other eyes watching her coming . . .
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout . . .

” Here she comes! ”

An original post by Sarah Auerswald.

After someone I know dies, it’s hard to fathom that life goes on for other people. I used to be angry about it, but that’s not what I feel anymore. It just feels so strange.

Like, how could they not know that someone I know has died? How can they be walking around, ordering coffee, or playing baseball, like everything’s normal? How can they be in such a different reality?

Clearly, I’ve been that weird “other” for other people in the world, when someone I don’t know has died, and I didn’t even know about it, and there I went, just casually grocery shopping or watching a movie, completely oblivious. It probably drove them mad. It’s felt that way to me occasionally in my life, so I understand.

I guess it means we are all in our own little worlds, each with its own set of rules and norms, and sometimes we have enough things in common that we’re on the same page, and both know the same person who died, and so we we feel the surrealness together.

An original post by Sarah Auerswald.

I just found out a friend has died. Suddenly, shockingly. A woman I have known for more than 30 years – from when we were girls. 45 years old, a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend.

Jennifer, you will be missed! And I will do more living, every day, in your honor! Life is indeed too short. Too short for me to have told you that I was really happy to have had you as a friend for all these years – really happy about it!

Here’s a photo of us from the 1970’s – Jen’s the one with the great legs.

An original post by Sarah Auerswald.

The weather wizards say it’s going to be 83 degrees today. YAY Los Angeles! So I thought it was time to bring out the cushions for the patio furniture.

Take a look:

I bought this set last summer after going to about 20 stores and sitting in about 50 different chairs. I wanted the MOST comfortable ones I could find. I even went to the super-fabulous, super-expensive stores, like this one, and sat in the chairs that cost about $2000 each. I was pretty committed to comfort.

And guess where I finally found the MOST comfortable chair? Good Old Target. The whole set, including 2 chairs, the sofa and 2 ottomans – including delivery – was of course LESS than one of the chairs at the Super-fabulous store. And way more comfy.

Ahhh, now pass me a cocktail, dahhling.

An original post by Sarah Auerswald.

OK, I had one of the weirdest encounters of my adult life over the weekend. Just so strange it made me totally question my own understanding of my social habits and default settings.

My sons and I attended a birthday party for one of my 5 year-old’s friends at a park. The kids who had been invited all showed up and they were all playing and clearly having a great time together. Then, a little girl came over and wanted to play with them. It was obvious she’d been attracted to the group, to the fact that they were all having so much fun. She also had been attracted to the food table with all the party snacks.

At first, it seemed a little sweet, and then a little sad. All the mothers at the party felt the twang of having had to explain it to our own kids when we would happen upon a party they hadn’t been invited to. Little kids have no understanding of the concept that they don’t know another family and so that’s why they weren’t invited. It doesn’t make any sense. Plus it’s so unfair – those other kids are getting cake and goodie bags. Wah. I want some, too…

PS – This scenario is heart-wrenching enough when it’s people at a park you don’t even know. God forbid there’s a classmate who hasn’t invited your kid somewhere and they find out – a whole different ball game.

Anyway, we’d all been there as moms. And we would have eventually taken our kids out of the area or just created a game for them to distract them from the party. Move on.

But what’s so weird abut this weekend’s adventure is that this child’s mom didn’t do that. At all. Not once in the course of about 3 hours of the party. So strange.

And clearly, the child had never been taught about not playing where she didn’t belong or fit in, because she never felt the need to leave. Even when we, as moms, tried to give her little hints, like “This food is for the party kids, honey. And we wouldn’t want to give you any food without your mom knowing…”

If anyone had said that to my child, I would have been so mortified I would have probably taken him home right then.

But this mom didn’t. She stayed about 20 yards away, close enough to watch, but not close enough to speak to us — or for us to speak to her – easily. And her daughter didn’t listen to her mother OR any of us Other Mothers as we tried to dissuade her from joining our party.

As this went on, we would all waver between slight outrage (Why isn’t this girl listening to an adult?? Why isn’t her mother DOING anything??) and slight concern (Maybe they’re homeless…? Maybe they’re hungry and the girl needs this food…?).

At times, while trying to be concerned, we got outraged. The child asked for a hot dog as we were serving lunch to our own children, and one of the moms agreed to serve it. We all exchanged looks and it was understood we thought this child was hungry. But while the hot dog was cooking, the little girl acted, well, annoying! She said, where’s my hot dog?! The mom who had agreed to get it for her took a deep breath and explained about waiting, and being patient, and gratitude.

And it would make a great story to say the little girl was transformed by that moment of boundary-setting and an adult who spoke to her with grace and courage. But it wouldn’t be the truth. She got her food finally and had to be told to say thank-you like it was the first time she’d EVER been told to say thank-you, and she still didn’t listen to any of the adults the rest of the day.

Finally, when she was elbowing the other kids out of the way during the furious candy-grabbing after the Pinata came down, and I told her for the umpteenth time to stop, that it was time to STOP, I turned to her mother, who had been watching the entire time, and I said Can you help us out here? She won’t listen to us – maybe she’ll listen to YOU.

Well of course she didn’t listen to her mother, either.

Weird. The whole event just made me SO aware of my own socialization. Of how tightly controlled my social world is, and how well I’ve been trained to behave. So much so, that when anyone behaves just a bit outside the box of the NORMAL way of behaving, it completely throws me for a loop.

So interesting to NOTICE things about our own lives. Even if they aren’t the BEST things. Keep on noticing.

An original post by Sarah Auerswald.